


Wouldn't kill you if I could

by rulesofattraction



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jaime Lannister, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:38:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rulesofattraction/pseuds/rulesofattraction
Summary: Bronn is on his way to Jamie to kill him as ordered by the Queen. Unlike the series, however, Jamie never arrives in Winterfell - he is attacked by a band of robbers who want to beat their profits from the turmoil of the war. Bronn is happy at first: kill a few robbers, murder Jamie, get a lot of gold. Sounds easy. But the minute he sees Jamie, he only thinks of one thing: to save him.





	1. Chapter 1

Jamie

He's never had the best sense of direction. Three days after leaving from King's Landing and he didn't even know if he was riding in the right direction anymore. At least it got colder and colder, he couldn't be that wrong. This cold, this darkness. Jamie felt uncomfortable and somehow watched. In former times he could distract himself with thoughts of Cersei, his beautiful and cruel sister. To him she was not cruel, no, to him she was completely different. If there were two of them, she was happy - at least before her three children died. Then a heaviness hung over her, slowly turning into a rage that even Jamie wasn't safe from. And now, he is sure, his sister is foaming with rage. Now she wants his head. Because of all the men she had to suffer from, he was the only one who broke her heart.  
A rustling distracts him from his thoughts. A look to the left: Nothing. He rides on, that's where it happens. His horse stumbles over a rope that has been stretched just above the ground. Jamie knew what that meant. A trap, typical for robbers in the area. He can no longer hold on to the horse and falls. Then everything turns black.

Bronn

It's freezing. If there hadn't been so much gold in the game, Bronn would never have ridden off voluntarily. But as a sellsword it's hard to get such easy jobs in wartime as to murder a one-handed and a dwarf. Well, it could be difficult with the dwarf, after all he is with the Queen of Dragons and Bronn doesn't intend to stand in flames.  
Great - now it's also starting to snow. The closer Bronn gets to the north, the more he regrets having accepted Cerseis order too lightly. Tyrion is actually a nice guy. And Jamie...for a long time Bronn thought nothing could have separated him from the blonde Lannister. But in the end, he never got anything back for throwing himself in front of a dragon for the man. No gold, no castle, nothing. That's why he doesn't have to feel guilty when he kills Jamie. Just a former client, nothing else.

   
Jamie

Water, ice-cold water. Someone pours it on Jamie's face when he comes to his senses. "Well, look who's here." In front of him a man builds up, tall, broad shoulder, scarred face. Behind him are half a dozen other men. Shit, shit, shit. Out of reflex Jamie wants to get up, but he is chained to a pole. Just like back then, with the Starks.  
Just don't think about it, not now, not now. Panic shoots him up, his heart races. He can't stop the pictures in his head. Men pissing on him. Men who mock him. Men who...no, no. Don't think about it, stay calm. But the next words the scarred man says let Jamie hope for the worst. "I think we'll have a lot of fun together, Kingslayer."

Bronn

It was obvious Jamie was too stupid to travel carefully. A Lannister like him is never alone, always surrounded by his troops. And if there weren't any henchmen around Jamie, it was Bronn himself. And if Bronn has one strengh, it's instincts that don't deceive him. And when he finds the remains of a stretched rope and a few footsteps, Bronn only has to follow them to see them: Half a dozen evil figures, one of them with a blond prisoner. Jamie.  
That's perfect for me, then I just have to get rid of the few idiots, kill Jamie and I'm a rich man. Slowly Bronn creeps closer. Now he has a better view of the spectacle. The leader, a tall man with a scarred face, presses Jamie to the ground. His people hoot. The Kingslayer looks helpless as he lies there, his eyes closed in panic, his body naked. Wait, why? Why is he naked?  
Bronn sees Jamie start to wriggle as his kidnapper grabs his legs, pushes them apart. "Well, let's see what the queen sees in him," he shouts and approaches Jamie's ass. Bronn now knows what he's about to see: How Jamie Lannister is raped by an ordinary criminal. No matter how much gold he hasn't paid Bronn, he doesn't deserve that. He makes a decision.  
"Hello, how are you?" Six pairs of eyes belonging to unshaven, coarse faces stare at Bronn. He doesn't wait for long. A few minutes later, half a dozen bodies lie on the frozen ground. Now only kill Jamie, right? Then he's done with the job. Bronn approaches the blonde Lannister, ready to go to extremes. But when he sees Jamie's face, the fear in his beautiful eyes and the trembling of his muscular body, he throws the dagger aside and takes Jamie in his arms. "It's all good," Bronn whispers to him. "I'm here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos! Here's the next chapter - hope, you'll like it.

Bronn

Bronn doesn't know how long he has been sitting on the cold floor holding Jamie in his arms. Half an hour, an hour, or two. Anyway, at some point he stopped trembling and began to breathe more calmly. "Better?," Bronn asks quietly. A slight nod. "That's good, it's getting cold," says the sellsword and laughs quietly. He doesn't know if that was appropriate, but he always had the tactic to loosen up serious situations with humour. Sometimes he got away with it, sometimes Bronn was just the most hated guest at funerals.

As he held Jamie in his arms, Bronn had looked around and noticed that the robbers had left a large tent with a fire right in front. Bronn thought it unlikely that any more robbers would come. "At least the bastards have a nice tent. We can't get anywhere today, so let's sleep and rest there." Jamie nods. "Okay," he mumbles. His voice was still a bit thinner than usual.

Bronn slams the tent entrance aside. "Oh, look, they even have some food and wine." He pours himself and Jamie a cup. "Here, you can use it." Jamie takes the cup in his left hand and hastily drinks a few sips. "I guess you can say that." The blonde Lannister laughs dryly.

Jamie

The wine, the warm tent - that's exactly what he needs now. But what or whom he needs most in this situation, he would never admit. And that's why he just says to Bronn, "Thank you for saving my ass again." Bronn grins. "No problem. But interesting choice of words." Jamie knows that Bronn only wanted to be funny. That was Bronn's way: to loosen up serious situations with a joke. That's why Jamie forces himself to laugh.

But inside he feels less good. That was so close, a second later and...it would have been like that again. Like with the Starks. No, don't think about it now. Distract, distract. Although he is not hungry - when Jamie is feeling bad, he usually even has severe stomach pains - he reaches for a loaf of bread, which the robbers have left lying around. "I'm really hungry," he lies. "I've been on the road for days."

"Where are you going?" Bronn looks at him questioningly. "Really to the north, to Winterfell?" Jamie nods. "You know they're not necessarily your fans there." Both have to laugh, this time a real laugh and for a moment Jamie forgets everything around him, the war, Cersei, what just happened, what happened then. That's why he liked having Bronn around, that lightness, that feeling that he belonged somewhere. Not that he would ever admit that to the sellsword. Instead, he asks: "You were going to kill me, weren't you?

Bronn

Damn, that question had to come. Bronn is not a good liar and Jamie is not a fool (at least most of the time). That's why he nods. "Yes, it's a job from your sister." "I see" says Jamie and pours himself more wine. Why does Jamie seem so understanding? Bronn knows that he shouldn't deepen the topic, especially now. Jamie just seems to have recovered from the incident a few hours ago. Even if Bronn doesn't miss the fact that Jamie eats without appetite and drinks more wine than usual and keeps staring into emptiness.

"Do you still want to kill me?" Jamie asks quietly. Bronn looks at the blonde Lannister for a long time, these eyes that are otherwise so proud and full of life, but now only look uncertainly at the ground. It wouldn't be fair to kill him in this state, but that's not what this is about. Bronn secretly knows that he could never kill this man. When he saw Jamie in danger a few hours ago, he had only one thing in mind: to save him. And secretly he thought that he couldn't live without Jamie. But that's silly, really. "No," Bronn says briefly, looking at Jamie. The younger man takes his eyes off the ground, now looks the sellsword in the eye. Now there is a slight smile on his face. "Good," he says. "I'm tired and don't want you to stab me in my sleep." Both start to laugh. With Jamie it has always been easy to laugh together and forget everything for a moment. As if there were no war and as if there were no hungry ice zombies somewhere in the area.

"Why did you save me earlier? Bronn sighs. So Question Time isn't over yet. "Well. No matter how bad you paid me before - you certainly wouldn't have wanted to be touched by an ordinary criminal."

Jamie

He knew Bronn was giving him some evasive, curt answers. But at least he doesn't want to kill him anymore, that's something. Jamie pours himself a little more wine, even though he is slowly getting a bit drunk. It's probably alcohol that makes him tell Bronn: "Well, I have no problem being touched by ordinary people... well... Just not against my will."

Bronn looks at him in disbelief. "You slept with other women than your sister?" Jamie grins. "Not only women.” The look of Bronn - priceless. The sellsword almost dropped his cup. Why does everyone always think of him as a prude?, Jamie thinks by himself. "Really now?” Bronn asks. “And they are still alive? Or didn't your sister have her spies in your bedroom?"

Jamie smiled meaningfully. "Why? She was there, wasn't she?” Bronn looks even more disbelieving, if that's still possible. "Why are you looking at me like that?" says the blonde Lannister. "I've slept with Cersei since I was a teenager. Do you think we only ever do vanilla sex there? Bronn coughs, almost swallows his wine. Jamie grins inside. This could be an exciting evening.

Bronn

Bronn never would have thought to talk so openly about sex with Jamie - and even less he would have thought that this conversation could be interesting. This handsome but buttoned-up Lannister. Bronn always thought the only reason Jamie slept with his sister was because he was too prudish to find another woman. And now something like that.

If Bronn were someone who blushes quickly, he would now be as red as in the face as Sansa Stark's hair. He cannot help imagining in front of his inner eye what was going on in the Lannisters' sleeping chambers. Jamie, naked, groaning under a member of the royal guard, in the background Cersei, masturbating. Bronn must control himself not to become hard.

"So no vanilla sex, huh?" he grins at Jamie, also to distract himself. "What have you been up to?" Jamie is silent for a moment. "Well, a lot. Sometimes Cersei was completely at my mercy, but often she dominated, too, with certain aids. And as I said, often we weren't alone." Bronn unconsciously moves a bit closer to Jamie, surely because it's cold outside. "Do I know anyone you fucked?"

Jamie smiles meaningful. "Yes, many servants. Some soldiers.” Soldiers. Bronn is a sellsword, would he have...in the right place at the right time? "But when I returned from my captivity, without my right arm, without self-confidence, it was over," says Jamie. That settled Bronn's question. "Too bad, then I just missed it," he jokes. Both laugh. This moment, again, both alone, no war, no worries. "Yes, too bad," smiles Jamie.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie

Was that a flirt? With the man who saved him from rape a few hours earlier? What idiot talks about his sex life a few hours after such an incident? On the other hand, there are no rules concerning how someone should behave who has been raped or at least almost. Back then, Jamie didn't know what he was doing either, after being captured by the Starks.

Don't think about it again. Shit, because of that thing today, he has to keep getting those thoughts out of his head. Hastily Jamie pours himself more wine and drinks his cup empty in one go. "I am tired."

 

Bronn

Oh, no, now Jamie's looking so panicky, that look again, like before. Hopefully he didn't go too far. Maybe it was inappropriate to ask Jamie about his sex life. On the other hand, the conversation distracted him for a while. With that he has already achieved something good.

Bronn looks around the tent, where are the blankets? The fire in front of the tent only burns weakly and it is damn cold. Ah, here. At least one blanket. But Bronn can't find a second one. Jamie has already laid down next to him on the floor and suddenly seems extremely exhausted. Bronn sighs, all right then. He carefully lays the blanket over Jamie. He turns to him, opens his eyes. "What about you?" Bronn shrugs his shoulders. "There is no second." To his surprise, Jamie lifts the blanket slightly. "Come on, we fit both under there. It's damn cold without a blanket, I'd have a guilty conscience. Even if you wanted to murder me a few hours ago."

Both laugh. "Ok", says Bronn and also lies down under the blanket. There's no other way, he has to get extremely close to the blond Lannister. Not that this bothers him, he likes to be close to Jamie. This familiar smell, this beautiful, slim and yet trained body. Stop, that's not appropriate. "Good night," says Bronn, trying not to think about how much he likes to be in bed with this person.

 

Jamie

He'd never admit it, but it reassures him to be this close to Bronn tonight. What happened to him, those memories that come up again...he feels insecure, weak. Bronn is strong, he feels safe with Bronn. And so Jamie can fall asleep quite fast to his surprise.

_Two rough hands grab him by his hips, hastily pulling down his pants. Jamie screams until a dirty hand closes his mouth. "I don't want to hear a word from you, Lannister bitch," a voice says. Laughter, someone aims his cock in Jamie's face and starts peeing. Tears shoot Jamie in the eyes. Then suddenly an unbelievable pain in his ass. A strange Stark soldier who wildly starts taking Jamie from behind. He feels how he starts to bleed, but the penis in his ass keeps pushing in mercilessly until Jamie loses consciousness._

 

Bronn

Maybe he slept like that for two or three hours when Jamie suddenly starts to toss and turn wildly. When Bronn sees Jamie's face, he scares: so much despair, so much fear. "Jamie, hey, hey." He shakes the younger man. "Wake up, you're dreaming." Jamie finally opens his eyes, tears are shooting directly from them. He is trembling all over. "Bronn, please." Bronn understands, pulls him closer, hugs him. "You are awake, you are with me. Nothing can happen to you, okay? "

Jamie literally clings to him. Bronn gently strokes his blond hair and pulls him closer to him. "I'll always stay with you," Bronn says, half to Jamie, half to himself. Although it breaks his heart to see the otherwise proud Lannister like this, he enjoys stroking his hair, being so close to his body, to smell it. Slowly, Jamie gets calm. "Hey," asks Bronn cautiously, "what did you dream?"

 

Jamie

He would never tell Bronn what he dreamed about. It would be degrading to talk about it. The sellsword seems to be one of the few people who still respect Jamie. His sister has surely offered Bronn more than a few coins and a wooden hut, but the sellsword still lets him live. Jamie is not stupid, naive or not in possession of a mirror. He knows that he looks attractive to a lot of people and can interpret glances quite accurately. Everyone thinks his brother is the cleverer Lannister because he is well-read and can talk well. But Jamie, unlike Tyrion, has never had to make an effort to prove something to others.

Bronn sees something in him. But if Jamie now tells him what happened to him at the Starks, his opinion of him would change. A wave of self-hatred struck Jamie. Why was he so stupid as to be captured by the Starks? Why did not he fight more hard? Preserving Brienne from rape was what Jamie was proud of. One of his few good deeds. At least he had saved her from it, if not himself.

"Jamie," Bronn pulls him out of his thoughts. "You know, you can tell me everything." Bronn has Jamie's face in his hands and looks him in the eyes worried. His voice sounds so serious that it hurts Jamie. Damn, what should he do now? Jamie makes a decision. He shortens the gap between Bronn's face and his and kisses him.

 

Bronn

What is happening here? Is he just being kissed by Jamie Lannister, the most beautiful man in the Seven Kingdoms? Bronn's heart beats wildly, but at the same time he cannot really get involved in the kiss. This is irrational, Jamie has experienced something almost traumatic a few hours ago. Bronn does not know if he should return the kiss or not. It's clear that he takes advantage of Jamie being through the wind and drunk on the many wine he dumped into him with shaky hands before falling asleep. That would not make him any better than those damned bastards who almost raped Jamie. But if he fended off Jamie's kiss, Jamie might think it is because of exactly that reason. Jamie might think that he thinks Jamie is filthy, a whore, whatever. Bronn has seen a lot in his life, he knows how victims of such acts think about themselves. If Bronn does not answer the kiss, Jamie will irrevocably fall into these negative thoughts. So he kisses him back.

The blonde Lannister sighs quietly and intensifies the kiss. Bronn cannot stop the tightness of his pants. His hands move under Jamie's shirt, he feels the pulsating warmth of the other. Jamie sighs again, that sound, Bronn could hear it again and again. But he has to be careful not to go any further, he must not take advantage of Jamie's situation. And so he just goes on kissing him.

 

Jamie

He would not know a place where he would rather be now than in Bronn's strong arms. It feels great to kiss him, Bronn kisses with a certain hardness and yet carefully. Jamie has to be careful not to groan loudly as Bronn lets his hands go under his clothes. Unfortunately, they only stay with his upper body, but who knows, perhaps it is better that way. Jamie's not quite himself, and he credits Bronn for not taking advantage.

They lie there for almost an hour, kissing, feeling the other one. Slowly it becomes light. "We have to go," Bronn mumbles. Jamie is confused. "We? Where do you have to go?” Bronn looks at him as if he were stupid. "Yeah, didn't you want to go to Winterfell?" Jamie nods. "Yes, I did. But where are you going?" Bronn laughs. "Do you seriously think I'd let a fool like you ride through the snow? You're not used to being alone. And I think when you're in Winterfell, you need a friend by your side."

So Bronn wants to join me. He wants to go with me to Winterfell. Jamie repeats it again and again in his mind and cannot prevent the warmth that rises in him and the smile that steals from his face. But he only produces a "thank you". But Bronn seems to understand him, because he now grins at him. "Then let's go, or do you want to sit here all day and drink wine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope, you all like where this is going. By the way, if you see any grammar mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me. I usually don't write in English.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, planned to write more of this. Sorry for my grammar, I'm German ;)


End file.
